politiks and the arena. May 16, 2008

• So there have been a ton of Canadian folk interested in what our politcal views are, and who we are going to vote for, and asking what we think about all of this stuff. Honestly, I have to say that after having lived my whole life in the states, and even more than that, in the south, I have been hesitant to say what I  think. Here is why.

• There are those who claim to be evangelical christians who vehemently disagree with my point of view, and my opinion. I will say to them, this issue is not between me and you, its is between you and God.

• First of all, in my opion, abortion is a “sanctity of life” issue, and that you can’t be against abortion and yet in action be unwilling to take in unwed mothers, or adopting needy children.

AND I think that you can’t be against abortion and FOR capital punishment and going to war, it’s a complete double standard.

• Lastly, I the “American” media, and all media for that matter, but especially “American” media lies. I don’t want people to say that I am not an evangelical christian because I think this way, or because good ole’ W is not and has never been my homeboy.

• I won’t say that my “eyes” have been opened by living in a different country, but I will say that I finally realized that it is ok for me to have an opinion that is so vastly different from those whom I love, and love me, and that by the grace of God we can agree to lovingly disagree

• Also, capitalism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does lead to fairly huge rift between the rich and the poor, which is basically an issue stemming back to the Old Testament and are the UNITES STATES going to be a country that is intentionally going have a caste system in place?

BRING ON THE FREE HEALTHCARE!!!!

here are a couple of quotes which say it all MUCH better than I ever will

• “politics are too specific an idol for some people” Derek Webb in Relevant Magazine March/April 08

• “I really don’t understand the notion of a pro-capitalist, pro-death penalty, pro-war Christian. To me, that just seems like a vegetarian who eats a burger.” Moby in Relevant Magazine March/April 08

• “The way that moral issues have been co-opted by a political party for nothing else but to develop an constituency whose votes they depend on is really dangerous. I feel like it is nearly impossible to walk a party line-especially in a two party system- AND FOLLOW JESUS.” Derek Webb in Relevant Magazine March/April 08

marriage is what brings us together today April 18, 2008

this time aroundI have a lot to learn. Constantly, I’m reminded of this.

• Brandon and I have been studying Mark, and I have been amazed at what a great man God is making him. He has been so patient, and understanding. Brandon has been teaching me what it means to encourage. For those of you who don’t know him, he is very shy, and very serious and sometimes that comes off as him being a jerk, but i assure you, he isn’t. Brandon is the most self-denying, compassionate person you will most likely ever meet. I love him for it. The Lord is faithful. Brandon is wonderful. I’m the problem.

• It’s almost like i can’t just trust a good thing when I’ve got it. I”m constantly making drama, getting angry, being a butt-head. I’m a hand full and I know it AND I’m crazy complicated (and it’s unnecessary). I think it’s wonderful that God made Brandon the way He did b/c he’s the only person who can deal with me and yet still think I’m great. I have been learning that I need authority, I need to be reprimanded, I need to be encouraged, purged toward the goal of Christ, I need someone to rule over me. I am nothing without Christ, and His grace. I am made complete by my husband. If you took all of Brandon’s amazingness and some of mine (and discarded the complications of being Leah) then that would seriously be the very best, coolest, most terribly brilliant person EVER.

• ok enough ramblings. I love my husband. I love my Daddy and I’m glad he raised me the way he did. I’m glad he was hard on me. I’m glad my husband is learning how to be hard on me too. I’m crazy for admitting this b/c my flesh fights it daily. Thank GOD for his grace and for teaching the men in my life how to be gracious.

here is a song I wrote today about all this. It’s just a rough recording…

Having a name April 5, 2008

• Sometimes when we learn new things about ourselves, we are excited or scared, or even overwhelmed. For instance, my first year of college, I realized I am not good at math, and it’s not just because I hate it and it’s not because i don’t try, and it’s not because of some educational gap. I’m just not good math. And it’s because I have poorly developed non-verbal problem solving skills, a learning difference. I’m not one to push learning disabilities, but this is something that made me finally wrap my mind around the fact that I think differently, and it took someone shoving it in my face for me to get that. Now, some of you might think, wow she is totally self diagnosing, or you might be thinking “ya know that’s true, she does get a little stressed when she has to make decisions or figure something out” The truth is, I have found freedom from this realization. Coming to grips with this lets me understand that I am not stupid, I am not a failure, and now I can move on.

• When we find things in life that give an explination for shortcomings, or health issues, it can often give us a sense of freedom. Even if nothing will be changed, or made better, having a reason or an explination just makes you think, wow, this is ok, I can deal with this.

• I have recently discovered something that explains the health issues I’ve been dealing with since 17.  It is a little bit scary, but more than anything  it gives me freedom. It links everything I’ve been through together and honestly, helps with some of the more problem causing emotions. I’m not alone, this is not a mystery, I can go up from here, and most of all, this is something I can deal with, talk about, cry about and the only difference is that it has a “name”

• I think the underlying issue here is not finding freedom, but having hope. Hope that in this life, we are not alone, others have been through things that are much worse, or much the same. Your problem is not worse than mine, and mine is not worse than yours. Hope is something that gives freedom. Hope that things will work out, even if they don’t look how you’d imagined, they still work out. There is something that steals hope, it’s when others treat your issue as if it’s not as bad as what they have been through, or make you feel guilty for being upset or for struggling. I will admit, that there have been times when I have been angry with God. There have been times when I have fought to keep my head above the water. Just because I”m hurting and have been hurting and will continue to hurt does NOT mean that I am not a strong Christian. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t have hope, or that I’m not trusting God. It means that I am mourning. Mourning things that will never come for me, things that I expected but will never have. I am tired of feeling guilty, I am tired of being lonely. For now, I have a “name” and I have hope.

Something I’ve been saying for a long time… March 29, 2008

• Well, it just so happens that Michael Spencer said it better.

• This is an issue that has been on my heart for the better part of 3 years, and is something that I am very passionate about. It may not be pretty. You may disagree. I expect that.

• I want to start off with something Spencer said,

“like many other evangelicals, I have no resolution to this issue. I will be offensive to gays and lesbians when I interpret what I believe scripture teaches. I will be offensive to many evangelicals when I consider gay and lesbian Christians my brothers and sisters.”

• This is an explanation,

“As a Christian humanist, there are two sources for my view of human beings: The image of God in creation, and the image of humanity in the incarnation/resurrection of Jesus. I am resistant and reluctant to speak of human beings through other identifiers, such as race or sexual preference. For example, I don’t believe terms such as “black” or “gay” accurately communicate what is most important about a human being.

A person who is sexually attracted to the same gender or has participated in sexual activities with the same gender is exactly what such sentences imply. It is wrong to use terms that imply those labeled are defined by their actions or feelings. It is a particularly postmodern twist to assert that someone’s identity should come from a label assigned by a group.

We are persons made in God’s image; persons for whom Jesus was incarnated, sacrificed and raised. These identities should dominate in all our understandings of human beings. To use other labels runs a serious risk of dehumanizing those we should be treating with the same respect as Jesus himself demonstrated and embodied.”

• “Like every other sinner, sexual sinners of every kind are invited to repent and believe in the Good News. No specific results of that repentance can be assigned to a schedule or scorecard. Repentance is an imperfect struggle for all of us, especially those of us who struggle with sinful addictions and life-dominating sins.

The church must be a place where sinners are forgiven, not given a list of demanded changes. Christ himself is the Lord of sanctification. The goal of purity and chastity is hardly achieved by any of us, and it is unfair and unbiblical to assign special conditions to the repentant homosexual.”

• “Certainly one of the dilemmas that I feel most personally in presenting Christianity is the responsibility to invite all persons to repent and believe the Good News. At the same time, I would not say less than scripture says about the Kingdom of God and sexual sin.

Unrepentant gays and lesbians who confess Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior present a dilemma for evangelicals. Most evangelicals, like myself, believe the teaching of scripture is clear in regard to the subjects of marriage and sexuality. Most of us do not believe these teachings are culturally conditioned, but reflect basic Trinitarian sacredness in the entire area of sexual relationships.

On the other hand, evangelicals like myself also understand that many gay and lesbian Christians read the scriptures differently than we do, and have a serious and sincere personal faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior. It is nothing less than heart-breaking and painful when these values come into conflict in regard to our relationships with individuals for whom we have personal respect and affection.

I would not be a member of a church or a denomination that compromised in any way on Hebrews 13:4 or the sacredness of sexuality as a reflection of the Trinity. Nor would I want to be associated with those who rejected the professions of faith of genuine fellow Christians. It is a painful and presumptuous thing to refuse to recognize a fellow sinner as a Christian. We should be extremely reluctant to do so, even if we find ourselves being accused of being too gracious by some and too narrow by others.”

• ” We don’t get how hard it is to be gay among evangelicals.”

“I really can’t add anything to that. It’s been a long journey for many of us to get past what our evangelical/fundamentalist environment gave us permission to say and think about other human beings as long as we could attach “homo” or “queer” to the sentence. It was shameful, and I’m grateful for those who have helped me get past that kind of sin to repentance and a love for those Jesus loves.

My words and the words of many other evangelicals have made it more difficult for some gays to hear the Gospel. I hope I can repent of that error better in the future. Just in inappropriate humor alone, I’ve got plenty to answer for.”

• “Many evangelical young people no longer share the attitudes of their parents and grandparents toward this issue. If you don’t know that, you aren’t paying attention. I am not talking about the all evangelical young people or the most conservative of them. I am talking about a significant shift in attitude that has come about, like it or not, by a lifetime of exposure to a far more visible, vocal and self-defining gay community.”

• And lastly,

“All of us are sexually broken as a result of the fall, so there is no substantial difference at that level.

We are put together differently, making some kinds of sexual expression more appealing to individuals at various times and ways. (This is why I hate the labels. We’re all just humans with the tendency to sin sexually.) So it is more difficult to be an 18 year old young man than a 51 year old man, but I’m sexually tempted at both ages.

Hebrews 13:4 gives our two options (marriage and celebacy), which none of us fulfills perfectly, but which is commanded both for our temporal blessing, the reflection of God’s glory and the magnification of Grace.

Jesus Christ is our sexual righteousness, not being “straight,” etc.”

Thanks for reading

<and take to the world this rare, relentless grace>

Leah

a day brightening ancedote March 27, 2008

I have been fairly sick. Couldn’t talk and it’s kinda turned into a terribly bad cold or the flu..or something..I’m on antibiotics and tylenol to keep the fever down..so i’m good….

however, today one of my youth and her mum (yes that’s how they say it) showed up with quite possibly the very best present in the world ever. They knew exactly what to do to make me feel better, and special and loved…

I missed my momma brilliantly bad today so it really helped.

here are some pics…

yes a multi colored, tye-died rose

thank you cohans

The truth about Settling March 25, 2008

• We are here. We are settled. I feel like it just happened and yet I feel like I’ve been here a million years. The youth are really cool and we’ve already been able to form some fairly strong relationships with them. The Lord has blessed us in this ministry, in friends, and in the ability and technological advances that allow me to talk to my momma almost everyday. It has been quite a big adjustment to be up here, but the Lord has been faithful to provide activities, friendships and I’ve been writing a whole lot of music. So all in all, I really like it here.

• There are a few things that we need prayer for. Basically it is that the youth would continue to be responsive to our friendship, but more importantly than that, that they would responsive to the calling that God has placed on us and them, which is to see them become passionate about God’s word, His people and spreading the Gospel.

• As many of you know, making friends with teenagers is NOT always the difficult part, especially for me, I am basically a 13 year old girl trapped in this body. But we really yearn for these students to become passionate for the Lord., and that even though seeing them grow needs the gateway of friendship, it also requires something much more. It requires Brandon and I to be diligently praying for these kids, studying their culture so that we can relate and always have something to “come back” with, and totally emmersing ourselves in God’s word, and in the opinions of scholars. As you know, we are not monks, and forming relationships with new people who are not teenagers is very important for us. We also have to continue to be busy serving our church and striving to have community like the early church did. Basically all this to say, when am I ever gonna find time to keep those dishes clean? I have enjoyed being a housewife immensely, it has really given me the opportunity to find my niche here, and in Brandon’s and my ministry.

• We have some up with the programming for this youth ministry. You can check it out on the website that we have created. It’s still under a whole lot of construction, but you can have a sneak peak.
• http://tfbchurch.mb.ca/youth

• This is a ministry sponsored by Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters, it is the Missions organization that we are sponsored by. It is called “To the Ends of the Earth.” if you would like to go to that website it is..
• http://www.tetote.com

<and take to the world this rare, relentless grace>

Leah

• ps. if you would info on how to get in better communication with us, please e-mail me at leahHmilan@gmail.com